An excerpt:
Dear person in charge of new punctuation,
I have invented a new punctuation mark, and I am writing to ask you to consider introducing its usage into the American Punctuation Lexicon.
I would also like to check up on the status of the interrobang (also known as the "quesclamation mark"). You may not remember it, but it was the combination exclamation point/question mark invented by ad executive Martin Spekter to help us with such sentences as "WHAT did you just say to me?!" and "Lindsay Lohan's suing WHO?! Over WHAT?!"
I have thusly been forced to meet my creativity of ills head-on, and to examine the paltry, derivative fluff that pads out this blog, like adobe mud layered on adobe mud year after year. A promise to the non-existent readership: Things of which I shall not write again:
1. new punctuation
2. Scott Baio
Each of these has been effectively covered by my peers in Internettia.
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