how the West was won

What sets America’s West apart from the East and Midwest is the fierce all-conquering spirit of man over nature. In the petroglyphs we roped and conquered the wildebeest. Later, we vilified masa flour, molding it into steamed tamales as it subdued to our hegemonic superiority; we found ways to bastardize orange peel and coriander in the service of a better beer; we flattened mountains with Thule and traffic jams; we braved city streets in expensive flannel; we secured the homestead with bits of old bicycles; we imbibed face-melting hot sauce; we took to the slopes in 0-degree weather wearing nothing but denim and rear entries.

Here in Denver, man’s first feat of triumph is often bringing a large dog under bridle, and fueling its power with high-protein kibble from fancy organic dog shops. He may also master the volatility of a PBR 24-pack, or corral his staplers into a corner of the copier room.