Happy Cliff day - no jokes

Much like the Vonn Trapps after the Salzburg Music Festival, my supply of Vegemite has run out.
All doubt has been removed. It is a jar of Vegewon't; the savory lick of a yeast extract product will be spuriously absent from the next hangover toast operation.

"They're gone!"

Meanwhile, I have designated today unofficial "Cliff Richard Day." As my 'case of the Wednesdays' show hats are still under construction, there seems to be no other way to keep the office afloat amidst the flooding of the bilge that is the five-day workweek than via a sampling of "(It's so funny) We don't talk anymore."

Although Cliff's rainbow neckline and grape stomping dance style are "funny," it is otherwise hard to see where the humor is in the breakup - why Cliff, is it "funny" that you and the lady aren't talking? Could it be that he is using an early form of modern sarcasm? E.g. "It's so funny (not) that we don't talk anymore." How can we be sure? Thankfully, the geniuses at Cornell have developed a sarcasm algorithm that can detect insincerity in online postings, so as to eliminate "confusing" or unhelpful user reviews. Apparently the two most sarcastically reviewed Amazon items are noise canceling earphones and Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code." I looked for a sarcastic customer review of the $200+ Bose QuietComfort® 15 Acoustic Noise Cancelling® Headphones, but could only find slack praise:

Says DatDude: "Wet! After I finally listened to them, they blew away my expectations. From the moment you turn the headphones on everything in the world just stops. These are a great buy and deserve some serious credit, mad props to Bose. These headphones are a little loud do to their speaker configuration which means other people around you can hear what you are listening to but honestly, who cares? At high volumes the bass does get a little distorted and sounds a bit 'bright.' "

I'm mildly amused that the greatest noise canceling earphones ever invented just happen to be a walking boom box - can't hear a thing outside, eh? As for the Da Vinci Code, I couldn't find any overly sarcastic reviews on Amazon either, just this: "This is an astonishingly stupid, stupid, stupid book."

And this, by Raven Reda "Lothario" - "Gloriously enchanting read - I MUST say that I COULD NOT put Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code, as well as MANY of his other books, down....sometimes, not even for a moment. It is a TRUE achievement. Not only was it obvious to me that Dan Brown TIRELESSLY researched many many topics in order to compilate his prose sufficiently, he is also, bar none, one of the most detailed & intricate writers of our time. Bravo to Dan Brown."

Which would be a marvelous achievement for sarcastic writing if that were the intent, but I suspect our "Lothario" is sincere. Can the sarcasm algorithm detect honest stupidity?

So, too, Cliff Richard appears to be singing here earnestly to his mirror selves, completely lacking in irony.